An engagement party is the first time your families and friends celebrate you as a couple, and it doesn't need to be fancy. A backyard dinner, a brunch or drinks at your favorite bar all count. This guide covers the few etiquette questions that matter, eight easy party ideas and a simple timeline.
When to have an engagement party
Most couples celebrate two to three months after the proposal, and within about three months of announcing the engagement. That gives you a few weeks to enjoy being engaged first, and enough time to send invitations. A casual get-together the weekend after the proposal is fine too.
If you got engaged over the holidays, a party in February or March works well: the holiday rush is over and your planning hasn't hit full speed yet.
Who hosts the engagement party?
Traditionally, the parents of one partner host, and the other family may throw a second party or co-host. Today, anyone close to you can host: parents, siblings, close friends or the two of you. Whoever hosts usually plans and pays for the party, so talk about budget early.
Who to invite
The golden rule: everyone you invite to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. Leaving someone off the wedding list after inviting them to the engagement party causes the most hurt feelings.
A few more tips:
- Start with your wedding guest list, even a rough one, and choose engagement party guests from it.
- Keep it smaller than the wedding. Close family and friends are plenty.
- Use the same plus-one and kids policy you plan to use for the wedding.
- Planning a small or destination wedding? Either keep the party small, or let guests know the wedding itself will be intimate.
Keeping your lists in one place helps. The free Wedding Countdown app for Android has a guest list with categories, so you can tag engagement party guests and carry the same list into wedding planning.
Invitations and gifts
Match the invitation to the party. A dinner at a restaurant or club calls for a printed or digital invitation; a backyard barbecue can be a text or email. Send invitations at least four weeks ahead, and mailed invitations are a handy way to collect addresses for the wedding.
Guests traditionally don't bring gifts to an engagement party, though some will. Never ask for gifts on the invitation. If you receive presents, open them after the party so guests who didn't bring one don't feel awkward.
8 easy engagement party ideas
- Backyard dinner party. Long table, string lights and a family-style meal.
- Brunch celebration. Mimosas, a waffle bar and an early start, so it's easy for guests with kids.
- Cocktail hour at a favorite bar or restaurant. Reserve a private room and let the venue handle the food.
- Winter fireside gathering. Hot cocoa bar, s'mores and cozy blankets for a cold-weather party.
- Wine or brewery tasting. Many wineries and breweries rent out private spaces for small groups.
- Game night. Lawn games in summer, board games and trivia about the two of you in winter.
- Taco or pizza party. Relaxed, budget-friendly and loved by every age.
- Surprise party. Your families invite everyone, and you announce the engagement in person.
Food and drinks
Plan for heavy appetizers if the party runs during a mealtime. A signature cocktail (and a non-alcoholic version) is an easy personal touch. Name it after how you met, your pet or your first date.
Toast wording
Engagement party toast wording
Toasts are usually short: the host welcomes everyone, then a parent or close friend says a few words, and the couple thanks their guests. Borrow any of these:
- 1 Thank you all for being here to celebrate the two people we love most. Please raise your glasses to the happy couple!
- 2 We've watched you grow up, and now we get to watch you build a life together. To many happy years ahead!
- 3 From the moment we met, we knew you were the one for our family. Welcome, and congratulations to you both.
- 4 Thank you for coming tonight. Every person in this room has helped us get here, and we can't wait to celebrate with you again on our wedding day.
Simple 8-week engagement party timeline
- 8 weeks out: Choose a host, a date and a budget.
- 7 weeks out: Book the venue, or decide to host at home.
- 6 weeks out: Finalize the guest list from your wedding list.
- 4 weeks out: Send invitations.
- 3 weeks out: Order food, drinks and any rentals.
- 2 weeks out: Plan decorations, music and who will give toasts.
- 1 week out: Confirm the headcount with the venue or caterer.
- The day of: Arrive early, take photos and enjoy it.
After the party
Once the party's over, the real planning begins. Our 15 things to do first after you get engaged puts the next steps in order, and our free wedding checklist generator gives every wedding task a deadline counted back from your date.