Asking your best friends to stand beside you is one of the sweetest parts of being engaged. It doesn't need to be expensive or elaborate. What matters is that each person feels chosen and knows what they're saying yes to. Here's when to ask, what to share first, 15 bridesmaid proposal ideas and 10 ways to word the question.
When to ask your bridesmaids
There's no need to ask the night you get engaged. Wait until you know roughly how big the wedding will be and what style it will have, so you ask the right number of people. Many couples ask about eight to twelve months before the wedding, once the date and venue are booked. That leaves plenty of time for dress shopping, the shower and the bachelorette party.
Try to ask everyone within a week or two of each other, so no one hears it secondhand.
Before you ask: what to tell them
Being a bridesmaid can cost real money and time, so be upfront. When you ask, or soon after, let each person know:
- The wedding date and place, especially if travel is involved.
- The dress budget, and whether you'll pick the dress or let them choose.
- Hair and makeup, and whether it's expected or optional.
- Bachelorette plans, even if they're only a rough idea.
- Travel and hotel costs for a destination or out-of-town wedding.
- Shower duties, if you expect help hosting.
- What you'll cover, such as hair and makeup or their hotel room.
A friend who can't afford it will be grateful to know early, and a friend who says yes will know exactly what she's agreeing to.
15 bridesmaid proposal ideas
- A proposal box. A small gift box with a handwritten card, a candle, a mini bottle of bubbly and something personal to her.
- A card in the mail. Simple, classic and perfect for friends who live far away.
- A brunch reveal. Invite everyone to brunch and leave a card on each plate.
- A custom puzzle. The question appears once the last piece is in place.
- A custom champagne label. Pop the question with a bottle she can open on the wedding morning.
- A scratch-off card. She scratches the gold circle to reveal the question.
- A coffee date. Ask your barista to write the question on her cup.
- A getting-ready robe. A robe or sweatshirt with her name on it, to wear on the morning of the wedding.
- A video message. Record yourself asking, and send it to a long-distance friend.
- A photo book. Pictures of your friendship, with the question on the very last page.
- Flowers at her door. A small bouquet with a note tucked inside.
- A girls' night in. Face masks, wine, a movie and a toast to the wedding party.
- A sweet treat. Cookies or cupcakes with the question piped on top.
- A text and a call. Send the question by text, then call to celebrate together.
- Ask in a meaningful place. Where you met, your college campus or your favorite restaurant.