How to Write Wedding Vows: 5 Simple Templates for Every Couple

The cursor blinked at me for twenty minutes. My wedding was three days away, and I’d written exactly one decent sentence: “I love you.” Everything else sounded like a greeting card written by a committee. If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Most couples freeze when it’s time to transform a lifetime of feelings into two minutes of coherent speech.

Wedding vows have quietly become the heart of modern ceremonies. While guests might forget the centerpieces or the cake flavor, they remember the moment you looked your person in the eye and made promises that matter. A 2023 study by The Knot found that 75% of couples now write at least part of their vows, up from just 40% a decade ago. It’s not about being poetic—it’s about being real.

Why Your Vows Matter More Than You Think

Marriage therapists have noticed something interesting: couples who write their own vows report feeling more committed six months later. The act of articulating promises out loud makes them concrete. You’re not just reading a script; you’re building a verbal contract with the person who matters most.

But generic vows rob you of that power. “To have and to hold” becomes background noise. When you say, “I promise to always save you the last bite of pizza,” you’re creating a shared language that only you two speak. That’s the difference between performing a ceremony and actually meaning it.

Three Golden Rules Before You Write

First, talk to your partner about tone and length. Nothing’s worse than one person delivering a stand-up comedy routine while the other recites a tear-jerking novel. Decide together: Will you keep them under two minutes? Is humor okay? This one conversation saves you from mismatched vows that confuse your guests.

Second, start early—like, three months early. The best vows marinate. Jot down notes after a good day together, or when they do something small that makes you grateful. These scattered thoughts become gold when you finally sit down to write.

Third, write exactly how you speak. If you’d never say “forevermore” in real life, don’t put it in your vows. Read them aloud as you write. Your tongue will catch the awkward phrases your eyes miss.

Five Templates That Actually Work

Template 1: The Promise KeeperThis is your classic structure for couples who want clarity without stiffness. List three to five specific promises that mix daily life with big-picture commitment. Start with something grounded: “I promise to be your calm during DMV visits and your hype person during karaoke.” Then build to deeper vows: “I promise to choose you even when we’re tired, lost, or completely wrong about directions.” End with a signature promise that feels uniquely yours. This works because it’s balanced—guests understand the format, but the content is pure you.

Template 2: The StorytellerBegin with a tiny story about a moment you knew. “I knew you were my person when you spent three hours helping my mom figure out her Wi-Fi without sighing once.” That specific memory acts as proof. Follow it with two or three promises that connect directly to that story: “So I promise to show up for your family with the same patience, and to never make you feel like tech support in our marriage.” This template shines for couples with a defining moment, but skip it if your love built slowly—it needs a clear spark.

Template 3: The Lighthearted ListPerfect for couples who use humor as their primary love language. Alternate between funny and serious promises: “I vow to always let you control the music on road trips… and to hold your hand when the playlist ends and we’re still lost in the middle of nowhere.” The key is balance—too many jokes feel like a skit, too few feel like you’re hiding. A good rule: for every two light promises, make one deeply serious. This keeps guests laughing while trusting your sincerity.

Template 4: The Parallel VowsThis one requires teamwork but creates incredible symmetry. You and your partner answer the same three prompts separately, then share your answers on the day. Try: “What I love most about you,” “What I’ll do when things get hard,” and “What I’m most excited to build together.” The magic happens when your answers rhyme without matching—you realize you’re both obsessing over the same things in different words. It’s beautiful for guests to hear two perspectives on one love story.

Template 5: The Two-Minute Power VowWhen stage fright is real, this is your lifesaver. Write one short paragraph—maybe five sentences total. Start with how they make you feel: “You make me feel like I’ve come home to a person instead of a place.” Then make three core promises. End with a simple, strong declaration: “I choose you, forever.” This isn’t shortchanging the moment; it’s respecting that some emotions can’t be rehearsed. Officiants report that guests lean in closer for shorter vows, not farther away.

The Practice Session That Saves Everything

Read your vows aloud to a trusted friend—not your partner. Your friend will catch the inside jokes that alienate everyone else and tell you if you’re crying too much to be understood. Record yourself on your phone and listen back. You’ll hear which sentences trip you up and where you’re rushing.

Time yourself. Aim for 90 seconds to two minutes. Anything longer and guests start planning their cocktail hour strategy. Finally, print two copies: one for you, and one for your officiant in a waterproof folder. Outdoor weddings have claimed more vows to wind than you’d think.

What Happens Next

Your vows are not a performance for your guests. They’re the first real conversation of your marriage, spoken out loud while people watch. That’s why the messy, honest, slightly awkward vows work better than the polished ones that sound like they were written by a wedding vendor.

Start tonight. Open your notes app and write down one thing your partner did this week that made you feel lucky. That’s your first line. Everything else is just details.

Ten years from now, you won’t remember the centerpieces. But you’ll both remember the promise you made about pizza crust and patience, and you’ll still be keeping it. That’s the only test that matters.